Tending the Garden of Personal Responsibility

Tending the Garden of Personal Responsibility

I’ve wanted to write about personal responsibility for a while now. Lately, I’ve found myself observing situations—both large and small—where it’s glaringly absent. It shows up as blame-shifting, deflection, apathy, or simply choosing not to act. And I can’t help but feel that much of the division, conflict, and disconnection we’re witnessing in the world today stems from this very thing: a widespread lack of accountability.

Maybe it’s the internet, which offers a buffer between behavior and consequence. Maybe it’s the collective sense of powerlessness in response to the chaos we see unfolding globally. Whatever the root, this disconnect is eroding the fabric of how we relate to one another—in workplaces, in families, in community. It chips away at our integrity, our soul growth, our spiritual evolution.

I’m not entirely sure where the breakdown begins. Is it a missing skill? A lack of modeling? Cultural conditioning? A choice? Self-discipline? Compassion fatigue? Probably all of the above. But here's something I just realized as I write this: I do see personal responsibility every day—in my healing practice. The clients who walk through my doors are actively choosing to take responsibility for their lives. They are asking for help, looking inward, and owning their stories. That’s a powerful form of accountability, and I am deeply honored to witness it.

Yet outside that sacred space, I see a different story unfolding. A shrugging of shoulders. A “not my problem” attitude. The phrase “I don’t know how that happened” about one’s own choices. Or “there’s nothing I can do,” when in truth, we always have a choice—even if it’s only in how we respond.

We can’t force others to change. But we can be vigilant within ourselves—continually refining our own embodiment of personal responsibility. We can do the inner work, explore where our shadows may still be operating, and take ownership with grace and honesty.

When we do this, we become mirrors for those around us—our children, our partners, our colleagues. We model a way of being that is grounded, humble, and powerful. As Thích Nhất Hạnh reminds us: “Tend your own garden.”

That said, I also believe that part of personal responsibility is gently reflecting to others where we see unconscious behavior. Not from a place of judgment or superiority, but from love. Some of the most transformative moments in my life have come when someone kindly pointed out where I was out of alignment. It was uncomfortable, yes—but also a gift.

So here’s to that brave and tender work—of choosing integrity, of honoring our growth, of walking our talk. It is what we came here to do as souls.